Modern Meal Planner Pillows

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."

'I sent out for everything.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

Chez Nous Menu

Soup of the month.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Before/After

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Horn of Leftovers

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

'I'm in the mood to cook!'