Meal Planners Pillows

"What's for dinner, what's for dinner, what's for dinner?"

'Convenience Product Quarterly calls it 'one of a kind...shattering.''

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

'I sent out for everything.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Chez Nous Menu

Soup of the month.

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Before/After

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Horn of Leftovers

Kiddies Menu for Witches

Surprise in the salad bowl

The ecumenical dinner party.

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"You have reservations for 7 o'clock? Ideally..."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"