Posh Meal Planner Pillows

"Excuse me for a moment. I have to go and refinance this dinner bill."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Like death by salad.'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

'Men order. . . women shop.'

Kiddies Menu for Witches

"Oh good, you brought Robert's rules of order."

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"To help illustrate our sales plan I have created a pie chart."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"We're out of today's soup, but you can have tomorrow's soup from yesterday which is the same as today's."

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

"What'll I eat, when you, are far away, and I am blue, what'll I eat?"