Modern Manners Gifts

"And remember, the phone goes to the left of the entree fork."

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

i-teddy

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Sometime I find it hard to believe that we found each other through regular channels."

Astronaut Selfie.

'For once can't we all just sit down and eat as a family?'

'Don't chew your food.'

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

' Hey...he's not eating like a pig.'

'I thanked my teacher for teaching me so well, and she fainted.'

"I got rid of all the excess in my life."

"Gesundheit!"

'Quick, table two have both for their mouths full, ask them how their meal is.'

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

'I see you had egg for breakfast.' - 'Yesterday morning.'

'Do you think FOR ONCE you can chew with your mouth OPEN!'

"I knew you'd like this place."

"Mum says I've got to thank you if you gave me anything."

"The time? Sorry - I don't have a phone."

When Barry decided to start a campaign for gum control.

Cupid views his online credit rating.

"People come to the park to relax. If you want to run wild yelling your head off, wait until we're at a nice restaurant."

'If only texting was an Olympic sport.'

"Gloves off at the table please!" "They're not gloves, they're dirt!"

"That's Ben. He's utterly ruthless and calculation, but in a nice, midwestern sort of way."

"How would you like me to answer that question? As a member of my ethnic group, educational class, income group, or religious category?"

'...Five-second rule.'

'For goodness sake, don't put your knife in your mouth. But my fork leaks.'