Modern Living Innovator T-Shirts

"The rules don't say anything about Airbnb-ing your property to help pay off the mortgage."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

"Dad! Dad! It's freezing out here! I wish we had a fireplace to get all cozy and roast marshmallows!"

"You haven't enjoyed the Yule log till you've enjoyed it in high def."

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

Cook in the cookery section.

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

"It's a mixed-use facility: retail space, low-rent housing, luxury apartments, and an area set aside for making steel."

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"What is it about a tee shirt cannon that says 'foreplay' to you?"

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"

"Someone is using their drone to do their shopping for the. I guess holiday traffic is the mother of invention."

Television company new recruit

"I've upcycled your magazines into an ottoman."

Swiss Army Stove.

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

A mom watches as her children get into a large SUV using a staircase.

'Ed says the 'smart money isn't buying furniture right now.'