Modern Lifestyle Advocate Pillows

Hazard of texting

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Do you remember when our time away from the office was our time...'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

The Modern Novel.

'Thanks for the book, dad. Now I can reach my computer!'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

Sustainability files, ways to reduce your carbon footprint

"You are still here."

Fur Baby

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Fetching newspapers is over. Now I aggregate blogs for him.'

'Apparently it downloads data to your brain.'

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

'Mom, can you tell me about the days before Pilates and Latte's?'

"....Reception on my tablet is so much better since I added wifi to my mule..."

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

'Mom! Instant oatmeal is NOT fast food!'

"You're too sedentary."

'I've been watching TV all my life. I was born cable ready.'

"As soon as I reconfigure the router, I'll reset my WIFI connection, download and unzip my files, and then I can start the presentation on how to simplify your life!"

Goodnight Social Media.

The Eternal Question

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

"Social media makes it impossible to see, hear or speak no evil."