Modern Life Muse Gifts

Technology and human relations

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

Crap from the future.

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

Weird things I do because of the internet

"Did you get my tweet?"

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

The Evolution Of Man.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

Peter

'This is suppose to be progress.'

Tunnel of TV

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"How is it gendered?"

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

"The club scene is really changing."

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Typical bored kid of the New Millennium

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"Of course, the actual honey is all made overseas."

"Teenagers! Everyone try to look cool!"

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

Fire hydrant with regular or sparkling water