Modern Fertility Fairy Tale Gifts

'Some days I curse that IVF treatment.'

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

IVF assessment centre.

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Three Parent Baby

'Did you remember to bring a specimen?'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

Pregnancy Test

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"Just for variety, Doc, next time let's insert the embryos doggy style."

Science and mothers day

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

Sperm Bank: Penetrations...Withdrawals.

'We can now offer you a free range egg option.'

"First, the good news; you're not sterile."

You're expecting twins. What! I wanted a least triplets!

'I'm sorry to inform you, Mrs. Cottontail, you're out of eggs.'

'We'd like to know the identity of the anonymous egg donor.'

"Great news! Your sperm count is dangerously low!"

'It's not about winning, it's about having fun!'

"Really. I'll just come in for a minute."

Minority Group Access To Assisted Reproduction.

Maternity Ward 'Push, Push, Push' and the Sperm Bank Door 'Pull, Pull, Pull'.

Mother Love is Without Logic

IVF Slut

'In laymen's terms, Bio-Repro, Inc. is involved in the conception, production, and distribution of little kids.'

Susan found she had responded well to her fertility treatment.

"That's right, fifty pounds and the pick of the litter."

"Don't knock over the frozen embryos."

'Wait a minute, this prescription is for a dozen oysters and half an ounce of powdered rhino horn!'