Modern Fairy Tales Gifts

"I've just been alerted that someone's broken into our house."

Little Red Riding Hoodie

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Fourth Little Pig

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

The tooth fairy.

A Fairytale Update

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Dragon Hair-dryer.

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

The Demise of Tinkerbell

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Puss in cement boots"

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'A coach would be nice. But vegetable will get me a BMW?'

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'