Modern Fairy Tale Fan Gifts

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

'Have you tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?'

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

"This time can the tooth fairy please just venmo me?"

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

"… and they lived happily ever after… until the princess caught the prince with the chambermaid!"

"Wow, dearie, did you miss the action! A wolf was bugging me, so I gave him a shot of Mace, karated him, and called the fuzz."

"If I press these, I may never get out of Wonderland."

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

His video of Jack and Jill is going viral already.

"Mobile phones and cappuchinos have destroyed fairyland forever."

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

Fairy tale

"I'm not taking any chances."

"And the prince, the princess and the Prozac lived happily ever after."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Swan Fairy Tales

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Are you made of sugar?'

Dragon Hair-dryer.

The Mouse Princess

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

Here be dragons.

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Rapunzel in the Morning

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"