Modern Fairytale Fans Gifts

Little Red Riding Hoodie.

A Fairytale Update

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Here be dragons.

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Pastries and Candy

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Home Sweet Home

"Well, that one got away."

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

“If I start pressing these, I’ll never ever ever get out of here.”

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

The Frog Prince

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

"Like that?"

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"