Modern Etiquette Explorer T-Shirts

"All my sophisticated payment apps say the same thing - it's your turn to pay."

"I'm going to tell the Wagners we can't make their party. Is sending a drone in our place proper etiquette?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"You're probably wondering why I called you. It's because I accidentally butt dialed you."

"Red wine with fish? Sometimes you really are a monster."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

"OK, she's back. Just start slowly, and remember to ask her about herself."

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

'The Boss is coming to dinner tonight - please don't open a can of worms again.'

"Good evening, Sir. I’m Ian, your server with a serious attitude."

Politeness opens doors

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

'Manners are the noises you don't make while you eat.'

Cannibal Moms : "Remember kids, no dessert until you eat all or your vegetarian!"

"Please be advised that our new chef's policy is that you're not allowed to leave until you've finished all the food on your plate."

Woman searches for a book on 'Zoom Etiquette'.

"Though you be a villainous scoundrel, fairness demands I inform you that's your cell."

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

'Remember, it's not just gimme. It's please gimme.'

"Not quite – one ankle on top of the other!"

'It was embarrassing. While I was taking up their cell phones, my cell phone rang.'

". . . And let's try not sniffing EVERYONE'S butt tonight."

Popular methods for getting the check

Dog urinating standing up.

The Cold Shoulder: 'What do you give the Cannibal who is late for Dinner?'

"They say you're supposed to listen to what your body is telling you."

"Sorry, but I didn't switch from unsanitary handshakes to fist bumps just to start group hugging!"

"What have you done?"

'When the curse is upon Dave he's never sure whether to use the bathroom or the garden.'

'Mind if we play through?'