Etiquette Explorer T-Shirts

"Bob was raised in the wilderness by salmon."

Woman searches for a book on 'Zoom Etiquette'.

"If you won't let me pay for dinner, at least let me pay for sex later."

The holiday task - Gladstonian Legislation

Dinosaur Close Talker

"That's right, sir, you did book a table for four but you didn't say anything about chairs."

Soup Eating Styles

'Now, now, Timmy ... No poison darts at the dinner table.'

The Cell Phone Is Here to Stay

'Anything I can get you? Tea, coffee, coats and hats?'

Tenant who has finished off his landlord's expensive liqueur

"Not quite – one ankle on top of the other!"

"No I'm not, I'm just rude."

"Sorry, Jeff. Two's company, three's an infestation."

"I've waived the corkage fee as it was a screw top."

'Texting or non-texting?'

'No! To the left, the left!'

Abandon Personal Space All Ye Who Enter Here.

"Ms. Sims and I have known each other for quite some time, but it turns out we aren't on a first-name basis."

"Just what is a runcible spoon?"

Guy comes to a funeral service with a bag of fried chicken.

'No begging at the table.'

'Remember, it's not just gimme. It's please gimme.'

"Hi, I'm Pete and this is my wife, Sarah."

"Oh, dear me. No, no – I meant the Chehalem 2006, not the $2,006."

"May I eat at the bar ... read your paper, text friends and hit on you?"

"May I trouble you for a steak knife?"

When in Rome...

Are you going to read a book the whole time? That's so rude!

Mort, may I have a word? Mind your business. It's not safe or polite to make fun of a man carrying a gun. Besides, he's just exercising his 2nd-amendment rights. And I'm exercising my 1st-amendment rights and my right to impress my chick! Your what? Sadie, did you see me stand up to the handgun ape?! Yes dear. Very hot.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is not a nice thing to say.

"They say you're supposed to listen to what your body is telling you."

"Excuse me, sorry, is anyone using this chair?"

"Taking leftovers home, again?"

"Oh, no! Here comes a guy on a motorcycle! Should I give him the 'low wave'? Is the 'high wave' too effeminate? Am I allowed to wave if I'm on a scooter? What if I wave and he ignores me?! This is bad..."