Modern Diet Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

Fat man on scales.

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

"I would kill for your metabolism."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'It says, 'If you want more fiber, eat the package.'

'If I'm reading this chart correctly, your LDL is ranch dressing'.

"First, finish that genetically modified asparagus. Then you can have ice cream full of bovine growth hormone."