Modern Dietitian T-Shirts

"Blech! Skim milk!"

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

In the Guru District

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

What the Doctor Ordered

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

Raw food, after you leave for work.

Chez Nous Menu

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Studies show foods work miracles!

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

Organic Produce: No Pesticides, Herbicides or Bad Vibes.

'We'll never be able to eat it all before it spoils -- how about a rabbit or something instead?'

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

'You need to stay away from the pie in the sky.'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"