Dietitians T-Shirts

'They sent me home from school because my lunch was out of compliance.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'I'm scared that there's a fat woman outside of me trying to get in.'

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

Life in a food desert.

Clancy: Diets

'Our new diet pills have been a disaster. The damn things work!'

Lose five to ten pounds - fast!

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

Paleo-to-go

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

In the Guru District

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

What the Doctor Ordered

Raw food, after you leave for work.

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Chez Nous Menu

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Bad for you but to die for

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."