Special Diet Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Do you have a traditional lacto-vegan Christmas dinner?'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

Fat man on scales.

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'