Special Diet Seeker T-Shirts

'The health plate is low in sodium, cholesterol, and sugar -- the downside is that it's high in styrofoam.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I envy you, but my dietary requirements make it difficult for me to travel..."

"The saying Use It or Lose It isn’t referring to one’s appetite."

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'It started with between-meal snacks -- now he's having between-snack noshes.'

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'Well, if I weigh that much after only putting one foot on, I don't think I have the courage to continue!'

'For gods sake get back, there's a triple chocolate fudge cake in there!'

'What makes the Tower of Pisa lean?' 'It never eats.'

The Fat-Free Mayo Clinic.

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

'I've got a problem.'

'Today's Sermon: Good Cholestrol Vs. Bad Cholestrol'

"I was just... uh... looking for the low-fat yogurt."

'Can you believe this? Now some food faddists want 'nectar-free' honey.'

'None for me...I'm trying to eat healthy.'

'Whatever diet they're on, tell them what they ordered is perfect for them.'

'Two more strawberry creams and that's my ' five a day' taken care of....'

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!

"None of our items are gluten-free, but they are prepared by people who are."

Obesity problems in the UK.

Healthy Eating Fast

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."