Diet Solution Seeker T-Shirts

'I have a company insurance physical next week, do you have anything that will help me lose 25 pounds by then?'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

One man's obstacle is another man's stepping stone.

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"I like this Carl, you've come up with more solutions than we have problems."

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

"The problem with your reasoned solutions is they don't fit my preconceived notions of the problems."

'Think tank' and 'Rethink tank'.

'You put him on a diet, so he put you on a diet.'

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'

'I have nobody else to blame but myself so we need to brainstorm.'

'I see you're hacking the fridge again.'

'Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.'

Odd Spas

'The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it!'

"I'd prefer a win-win solution – but I'm open to just a win."

"Mom says I should eat differnt colored foods. I'll have a pizza with jelly beans."

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

'Those are to increase my mental energy. . . Those are a mild sedative to calm my nerves.'

"It may not be the lowest cal, but it's low enough cal for me."

"Touch that and you're a dead man."

'Unfortunately we're approaching the expiration dates on most of our quick-fix solutions.'

'Buy a bottle of these vitamins. If you're strong enough to get the lid off, don't take them.'

'Well, we've divided an elegant solution. Do we have any elegant problems?'

'It's the half-empty bag of cookies from the back of the pantry. Should I tell them you'll call back?'

Air Pollution Agency - 'Tell them I have the solution to most of their problems.'

'The health plate is low in sodium, cholesterol, and sugar -- the downside is that it's high in styrofoam.'

It was time to start the lockdown diet.

'It's time for drastic measures - I'm taking you off food and putting you on chew toys.'

I find that I can cut back on calories if I use only one chopstick.

"What did we throw at our problems before we had Money?"