Dietary Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

Life is for the birds.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

All Natural Nothing

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

I am to blame.

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Fat man on scales.

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Sushi Train Spotters

'Guys! The turnovers are KILLING us!'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'