Modern Cowboy Humorist Gifts

Careful, friend - Clem there has an itchy Twitter finger.

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

Dawing your Cellphone

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Dang! My shorts are riding up on me again!

"Sorry I'm late! The driving conditions are awful!"

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

Moo! OOM!

'Well, so much for our legendary ability to eviscerate cattle with surgical precision...'

“Hold on—wait until those people are out of the way.”

"Let's scoot."

(Maps to the Homes of the Steers) (Maps $ 100)

'Ok, so we agree that we're going to throw them into the cactus.'

"You lose your phone again, Rusty?"

Wild West Text Showdown

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

Nun fight at the OK Corral.

"This horse comes with all the hardware necessary to be fully autonomous."

'I'd kill for concrete.'

"Perhaps it would be easier using mice?"

'I guess everything's okay, doc, two legs is showing, one out of each hole."

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Welcome aboard. Dress code is Urban Boer.'

"Giddyup."

"Daisy had twin bull calves. How'd you do?"

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

The Cud Food Guide

YAAY! Slam dump!

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

'Ooo, two strays to add to the database.'

"We don't say 'giddyup' anymore."

Feed & Grain. Credit Cards and E-Payments Only. Being a cash cow is tougher than it used to be.

'Buck, the town's bein' attacked by tin cans! Sheriff's looking' all over for ya.'

"If we don't find a place to charge these batteries we ain't gettin' this herd of tumbleweed to Kansas City by sundown."