Modern Communication Critic Gifts

"I wish that they would give omg a break. JMJ (Jesus,Mary and Joseph) have a lot more free time."

Obnox.com.

'And you can no longer talk to people face to face!'

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'

"If spam can find me, how come nobody else can?"

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

Presentation Skills: 1. Be Prepared.

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

"It's good to be able to recognize everyone."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

"I owe you an apology. When you bought that muzzle, I was mad because I assumed you bought it for your dog."

Clever youth stating that he considers Shakespeare overrated

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

"Have you noticed how blatant sex is everywhere in the culture but here?"

'It's the latest invention. Texted smoke signals.'

"Kids today are so blasé. Her first word was 'meh' instead of mommy."

'I'm getting mixed signals. First the boss tells me that I never really caught fire around here then he tells me that I suffer from burnout.'

"A brand new one will cost you $18. If I repair it the cost would be $397."

"This circle of hell is for those who always hit Reply to All."

'I am becoming a jerk. Get a memo to all departments.'

'Mr Slickovitz will now brief you on corporate creole!'

If the world is getting smaller, how come the postal rates keep going up?

"I still think it's inappropriate to put emoticons in your coroner's report."

"He's been told he has to cut down on using meaningless 'management speak'...which is causing him a lot of problems...as it's the only language he knows!"

"That's the only letter you received in the mail. Kids no longer write letters. They email or text."

'You go ahead. We'll rejoin you when you start using new technology.'

'Here's the man who created the 'Exploding Email'.'

'Looks like I was wrong. Apparently I can have more loathing for this era...'

'Someday people will commemorate this moment with exhaustion, overindulgence, and rampant consumerism!'