
"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."
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"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."
"My wife says I never listen to her ... or something like that."
"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"
"She's in a conversationally induced coma."
"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"
"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."
Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack
"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."
"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"
'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'
"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."
"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"
'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'
"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"
Native Habitats: Trump/Lies
'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'
"The end of 'Shark Week' is near!"
A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.
"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."
"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"
'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'
"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"
"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."
"I owe you an apology. When you bought that muzzle, I was mad because I assumed you bought it for your dog."
Precisely Inprecise
'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'
The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island
"Actually, there is such a thing as a stupid question, and you've just asked it."
"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."
"And now...here to spew his unique brand of unhinged babble and utter nonsense, let's welcome my guest..."
'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'
"There's no need to take notes. I have no idea what I'm talking about."
"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."
Pete Hegseth Military Caricature
BBC radio one... Please Leave Your Brain at the Door
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