Communication Critiquer Gifts

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"You know, there are other emojis."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"I owe you an apology. When you bought that muzzle, I was mad because I assumed you bought it for your dog."

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"Actually, there is such a thing as a stupid question, and you've just asked it."

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

"There's no need to take notes. I have no idea what I'm talking about."

'I'm getting mixed signals. First the boss tells me that I never really caught fire around here then he tells me that I suffer from burnout.'

"I never want to speak to you again, but I'm find with sex and other non-verbal activities."

Urban Development - Cutting down trees and naming streets after them.

'Ever stop to consider we live in a gated community?'

"This circle of hell is for those who always hit Reply to All."

"Quick! Get down to legal! The boilerplate has sprung a leak."

"I wish that they would give omg a break. JMJ (Jesus,Mary and Joseph) have a lot more free time."

'I am becoming a jerk. Get a memo to all departments.'

If the world is getting smaller, how come the postal rates keep going up?

'Mr Slickovitz will now brief you on corporate creole!'

Grade 'A' Grass.

"He's been told he has to cut down on using meaningless 'management speak'...which is causing him a lot of problems...as it's the only language he knows!"

'And you can no longer talk to people face to face!'

"Listen, Dobson, your inscrutable smile may work in Research & Development, but it doesn't cut here in sales!"

'A real person's answered it. I hate that. I'll call back when their voicemail's activated.'

'Here's the man who created the 'Exploding Email'.'