Health Communication Critiquer Gifts

'Well, here's a drug that's boiled down the warnings to something you can understand: 'Side effects are real doozies. Best of luck to you.''

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

"Surgery up here is free!"

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"I'm prescribing a patch. It will dispense meds as permitted by your insurance company."

"... and keep him off al news coverage of healthcare reforms."

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

"We are here to remove a blockage in your bank account."

'So far, all I can tell you for sure is how much I've charged you.'

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

'I wasn't feeling ill, doctor, until I started hearing about the NHS reforms.'

The World Pharmaceutical Corporation

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

NHS Reforms: See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

Republican Healthcare

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

Surgical Self-Service

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"It looks like we're out of sample placebos."

Have you drugged your child today?

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'