Health Communicator Gifts

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers

'Swine flu? Just wash your hands a lot.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

"Any questions?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"We evolved from asteroids"

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."

'The scariest story I know is escalating health care costs.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

The next wave

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

A mathematical question for you. Do we divide or multiply?

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

"Hmm. . . Human droppings. . .!"

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

'And the actual value of the Hubble Constant is critical to the question or whether our Universe will continue to expand forever, or...POP.'

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

Take a pill so you won't be one.

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

Does your accountant speak your language?

I hate it when the moon shows his dark side...

'You're a smooth talker, Alphonse, but around here that's not enough.'

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'That line means good managerial skills!'

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?'

Research Concludes: We are destroying Earth.