Health Care Communicator Gifts

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

"Any questions?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

'You're a smooth talker, Alphonse, but around here that's not enough.'

Does your accountant speak your language?

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."

'That line means good managerial skills!'

'I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?'

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

NHS Very Direct: 'You have a terminal illness and are going to die. Thanks for your call.'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

'I don't want surgery...can you just touch up the x-rays?'

"And he can make 347,000 home visits in one night!"

'You've got Finklestein's syndrome!' - 'Are you Finklestein?'

It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...

Body Language - Hiss!

"A handshake and a high five - I can't see this merger working."

'Yours is an elective surgery, so we're still deciding if we feel like doing it or not.'

"Should I announce my retirement before or after...."

'I need you to open wide, Peel.' - 'Ahhh.' - 'Not your mouth, fool! Your wallet.' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Wider!' - 'Argh!'

"How did it go? Read my blog."

'As far as I'm concerned all this talk of 'privatisation' is just a lot of media hype!'

"Click heels... needed ASAP... in Kansas."