Patient Communicator Gifts

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

Oh, no

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

"I'm going to need more minutes. I'm texting for two now!"

'I don't care what your chat group says. I say you're becoming overly dependent on technological gadgetry.'

Does your accountant speak your language?

I see. And why do you think you often feel lonely?

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

"To be honest, most of our work involves reassuring patients until nature cures them..."

Tell me about your history. What are your interests? What kind of places do you visit? Are you careful? House of Java.net Cybercafe. You know what I mean: Are you the type that gets around? Your computer seems chaste. You may use it to send me an email. My laptop is virus-free. Freak.

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"The Doctor is just wonderful!! He listens to all my irrelevant, boring stories!"

"My, aren't we patient-oriented this morning."

'That line means good managerial skills!'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'It's an email of a text that someone twittered...I think.'

"Moses, it's your mother. It's the only way I could get hold of you. You never call."

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?'

"Repetitive strain injury?...theres a lot of it about."

NHS Very Direct: 'You have a terminal illness and are going to die. Thanks for your call.'

'You've got Finklestein's syndrome!' - 'Are you Finklestein?'

"Hello mother. . ."

"No need to Whatsapp me dear, I'm right here."

No one said anything about blogging …

Employee Questions.