Hospital Communicator Gifts

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?"

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'How fast can you hype?'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

This Message Has No Content

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

Oh, no

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

'How fast can you hype?'

Aluminium Henge

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Antler Buzzers.

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."