Hospital Communicator T-Shirts

"I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?"

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

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"Damn - another letter to the editor."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers

A family with mustaches talking on their cellphones.

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"Ugh—someone in the group chat must have seen a squirrel."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"You wake up after 100 years and the first thing you do is check your phone?"

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

'My ring-tone's inaudible to humans.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

Aluminium Henge

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

Antler Buzzers.

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

Hospital Departments

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"Oh...Hi Bob, listen buddy, I'm in a meeting right now, I'll Caw you back."

'How fast can you hype?'