Healthcare Communicators T-Shirts

NHS Very Direct: 'You have a terminal illness and are going to die. Thanks for your call.'

'Gout.'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

It's like playing hooky...I let my cell phone batteries die!

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

Does your accountant speak your language?

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'That line means good managerial skills!'

Messenger Pigeons

'I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?'

What they say. . . What I hear. . .

'You've got Finklestein's syndrome!' - 'Are you Finklestein?'

Body Language - Hiss!

It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...

"How did it go? Read my blog."

"Click heels... needed ASAP... in Kansas."

"Well, I have some good news and some lab results."

'If you're not sure of the name of a client then check it on the system, don't just shout 'Hey Fatso'.'

"I'm going to check out a couple of antiques." "Good luck with your breast exam."

'Nurse, I said boil the instruments, not roast them.'

Telephone consultations worked but maybe TEXT consultations were a step too far...Does anyone recognise 'fngx stre pink' as a symptom?.

'In terms of vision, this company has lost its way. Is anybody here good with GPS?'

"Hopefully my body language tells you all you need to know."

'The bad news is that we've had to cut most of the services...'

'No, I don't think Dr. Williams will be mad because you came to me for a second opinion, but I'm mad because you didn't come to me first.'