Healthcare Communicator Gifts

'I've got a patient who needs to chat to someone...Have you got anyone who's completed the 'verbal communication with patients in a personal, supportive but not disempowering' course?'

'Your condition is being upgraded from a medical journal article to a letter to the editor.'

'Quality patient care is all about clear compassionate communications...was that less than 140 characters?'

Doctor's Office. Registration. Person to notify in case of emergency? Anyone within hearing range!

"How did it go? Read my blog."

"Hopefully my body language tells you all you need to know."

"There's very little of this going around? Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

You should be clear and tell patients that Doctor Jones has an encyclopedic knowledge of diseases, not that he is "ill-informed."

'I don't know if it's on your end or mine, but I'm getting some bad reception.'

"Hello, reception? Can you tell me how I am this morning and whether I had a comfortable night?"

"With 1 being the lowest, and 10 being the highest, could you rate the pain of your headache?"

The Language of Health

"Your symptoms are complex...perhaps I could explain things in terms you can understand."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

"Any questions?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"The biopsy on your mole came back negative, which is positive, which is good."

'Your proposal sounds interesting. Can you send me a written proposal? I cannot reread a phone call.'

What the patient heard and what the doctor meant to convey.

'Would it be cruelly ironic to shape our new cholesterol medication like little eggs?'

Unfortunately, Lyle had already sent nasty e-mails to his boss, three vice-presidents and the CEO.

'It's a brand new state-of-the-art waiting room.'

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

'You're a smooth talker, Alphonse, but around here that's not enough.'

Does your accountant speak your language?

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"I'm not great at communication, but my little buddy is."

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."

'That line means good managerial skills!'

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'I wonder if TED ever listens.'

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.