Modern Classicists Gifts

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

A Symphony of Penguins

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Venus

'Where was the TSA?'

Archimedes statue with a lever

Mozart on a computer,

Playdough's The Republic

A surprise in heaven

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

"I miss the Augean stables."

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

'Caesar salad?'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Tragedy/Schadenfreude

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Sisyphus and coronavirus

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

Souvenirs.

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Take a break, Archimedes. A nice soak in the bath will work wonders.

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

Romans.

Paris, 1922, George Gershwin and Franz Kafka try to write a musical.

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

'Mum, I don't care what these nasty kids say about my brothers Romulus and Remus being adopted: I love them all the same...'

I will be Bach.

To the Greeks' dismay, before the Trojans discovered the horse it was stolen by portcullis pirates.

Vesta