Modern Classicists Gifts

"Having bitten the apple I think we should cover our phones with fig-leaves."

A Symphony of Penguins

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Venus

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

Archimedes statue with a lever

'Where was the TSA?'

Mozart on a computer,

Playdough's The Republic

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

A surprise in heaven

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"I miss the Augean stables."

'Why can't we just kick Caesar upstairs?'

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

'Caesar salad?'

Tragedy/Schadenfreude

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Sisyphus and coronavirus

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Is there a way to disable Narcissus' self-view?"

"I've been reading a book of famous quotations. It's amazing how many are by a famous Greek named Anonymous."

Souvenirs.

Take a break, Archimedes. A nice soak in the bath will work wonders.

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

Romans.

Paris, 1922, George Gershwin and Franz Kafka try to write a musical.

'Oi! Man is not a political animal in here!'

'Mum, I don't care what these nasty kids say about my brothers Romulus and Remus being adopted: I love them all the same...'

I will be Bach.

Vesta