Modern Anxiety Analyzer T-Shirts

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"But what if this is all there is?"

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

Hypochondria Hospital

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"You call that worrying?"

"I feel we're making progress."

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

'I'm not mad! I'm fuming!'

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

Parental Anxiety

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."

From the tournament of neuroses parade