Angst Analyzer T-Shirts

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"But what if this is all there is?"

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

Free-Floating Anxiety

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

Hypochondria Hospital

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"You call that worrying?"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

Teenage Shakespeare

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"I feel we're making progress."

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

'I'm not mad! I'm fuming!'

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

Parental Anxiety

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

'The driving on that game is simulated, but the road rage is real.'

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

From the tournament of neuroses parade