Anxiety Analyzer T-Shirts

"From 3 a. m. to four-thirty, I have you wondering if everything in your life has been a mistake."

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

"I think I may have stood next to someone who might have been near a place where they suspect one of their customer's partners could have had a temperature... So I've come for a Covid test."

"The thing that should bother me don't - should I be worried?"

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

Yesterday I had an argument with the janitor of my building, and then last night I dreamed that he was chasing me with a large ball-peen hammer

'We're looking for someone who has enormous confidence during the day and who wakes up worried sick at night.'

'Tell me more about your premonition of impending dom, Mr Syms...'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'I'm not worried about losing my job. I'm worried about keeping it.'

"But what if this is all there is?"

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

"She's really nice and I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so here we are."

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

Hypochondria Hospital

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"You call that worrying?"

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

'I'm not mad! I'm fuming!'

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"