Anxiety Assessor T-Shirts

Parental Anxiety

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

'I've been a nervous rex all day.'

"You dropped yer wallet."

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

"But what if this is all there is?"

Free-Floating Anxiety

Yesterday I had an argument with the janitor of my building, and then last night I dreamed that he was chasing me with a large ball-peen hammer

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

'I've been googling your condition and I'm afraid to say...I think I might have it myself.'

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'Of course I'm depressed. I've run out of places to pierce.'

"I'm guessing you're a germaphobe?"

Hypochondria Hospital

"Pencil eraser."

"Hell: The Airport"

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"You call that worrying?"

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"If I go to the party alone, will I be able to leave when I want? But then, there's always the possibility that I will get stuck talking to someone. I can't shake the problem is me. What if no one else likes me? I'm the only one being critical... The issue is I'm not enough and it's really so huge." "The over thinker"

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"Sad really. He's scared of heights."

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

Conserve water! NO compulsive hand washing

"I'm doing better. The voices in my head can now access my email."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

"I'm sensing that un underlying cause of your anxiety is climate change."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

"...I need some closure. Can we go ahead and spin the Wheel Of Blame?"

'You're a hypochondriac.' 'Yes, Doctor, but am I a healthy hypochondriac, or a sick hypochondriac?'