Modern Anxiety Explorer T-Shirts

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my computer equipment these days.'

'Gerald won't light the fire in case someone unleashes a heat seeking missile'.

"Answer the questions or we'll make up a rumour about you on twitter."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"But what if this is all there is?"

Free-Floating Anxiety

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Hell: The Airport"

Neurotics in the tropics

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

"So, Ms. Medusa. Let's talk about this fear of snakes you mentioned. Do you notice that it causes anxiety?"

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

'I can remember when paranoia was unusual.'

"You call that worrying?"

"I feel we're making progress."

"I feel we're almost down to bedrock, Mr. Bonwell."

"Then there was the dream where I woke up in a pool of melted butter."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

"My parents are nice, school's going well, and I'm basically a good kid. Unfortunately, there's no money or fame in being normal."

'When I call for the time and temperature, they say 'Who wants to know?''

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

"His last wish was that we delete his browsing history."

From the tournament of neuroses parade

"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."

Closed system: Worry-powered TV set.

'Well, you're not a hypochondriac, you only THINK you're a hypochondriac!'

If I'm a hypochondriac, what does that make YOU?

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

'Average A-level passes of grade B, well yes I suppose you are a failure'

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

What's that? - 'I've written a list of my anxieties.' - 'To help you tackle them 'head on'?' - 'Err... not exactly.' - 'To help put things in perspective?' - 'I just like writing lists, really.' -

'He has a doctorate in worrying.'

"On the plus side, worrying about Brexit is stopping people worrying about the end of the world."