Moderation Lover Gifts

Highlights from the Million Moderate March

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Now that's a win."

Zenemies.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'Have you been working out?'

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

Yogi back in 5.

My friend here is being FAR too modest! He's not just ANY bartender! Karl's the guy who invented the Fuzzy Navel!'

Working from OM.

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Ned's Northingness: All the Nothing You Need To Achieve Mindfulness

"Enlightenment can only come when you realize there is more to life than gluten free hot sauce."

'I've overcome my fears of personal mortality and the indifference of the Universe, but I'm still a little worried about those skip-tracers.'

Fitness Guru

'Eat in moderation, Drink in moderation. Be merry whenever you want.'

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

Nervous Buddha

'My name is John and I haven't had a think for 36 days.'

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

'Goopta believes in a businesslike approach to enlightenment.'

"Hi! Are you enjoying the peace and quiet?!"

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'I'm gifted but I hide it well.'

'Sure I do bad things, but I do them in moderation.'

All-knowing mountain guru consults the internet.

'Embrace nonviolence!', 'I don't see how THAT'S going to help.'