Moderation Gifts

Extreme moderation

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

You can't come out...

"Now that's a win."

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

Mediation Process

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

"Okay, you still have all the old problems, but we're adding new ones and you can't touch.

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

Neutral Man.

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

'Hey, get out of my space!'

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."

"What part of 'keep it bipartisan' didn’t you understand?"

"There's more than one way to get your message across, but violence isn't one..."

Restorative Justice Victim's Revenge.

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

'Well, you knew the peace process was going to be dangerous.'

Come Back Sloane

Conflict resolution.

"I’ll have my lawyer call your lawyer to keep them gainfully employed."

'Eat in moderation, Drink in moderation. Be merry whenever you want.'

"When did tweeting become such an angry thing?"

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

"That's your best advice? Play nice!"

"You're just mad because I found a scholar to back me up."

'What you're saying basically is that you and Bob do not seem to see eye to eye...'

"I'm sure if you two tried, you'd find all kinds of points of contact."

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

'I can't take off my clothes - I'm Missouri Synod Lutheran!'

'Well, in all my years as a relationships adviser, this is the first time I've had to admit defeat within the first five minutes!'

Agreeing to Disagree Mediators...Open.

"S this is how you settle out of court."

"Ahh, the arbitration team is here."

'I'm sorry...what other options are there?'