Moderate Soul Gifts

Ain't Nothing in the Middle of the Road but a Faded Strip of Paint

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

Raptures

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

A military officer sits at his desk with desk trays marked 'Search' and 'Destroy.'

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

The Sensitive Dude.

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

Late-Onset Epiphany

Bob liked getting involved - but not actively involved.

Washing Machine Torture

"Pardon, I should have been more specific...is everything all right with THE MEAL?"

Sooner or later, 'These trying times' become 'The good ol' days'.'

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

"For goodness sake, stop this daily whining! She's just gone to work, she'll be back tonight! Get a grip!"

PastFuture.

"Eve, do you realize that neither you nor I ever had a childhood?"

Highlights from the Million Moderate March

"Why are we here?"

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

'Elaine, Elaine... we're doing the child's pose today, not the fetal position.'

WISDOM! WHILE IT LASTS!, 'Maybe the sign wasn't such a hot idea after all.'

'I wish I looked like a model.'

'I warned her that too much dieting could be a danger to her health!'

"I see you decluttered."

"I'm $37,000 in debt for my theatre degree. I may be acting, but my tears are real."

Life is just four letters...

Jim was busy detoxing his negative thinking patterns.

'Be sure to eat every bite — the chef is a very sensitive guy.'

Time Passes...For Meaning.

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"Did I miss something?"

"Heavens, what have I done?!"