Mobile Memoirist Gifts

'I'm not a famous writer, but I do make enough money to travel the country and sleep in my car.'

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

I'm currently working on my autobiography. Would you care to help make page 327 interesting?

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

'Oh, I'm just writing a tender memoir or my long ago affair with J.F.K...it's filled with pathos and sad wishful longing...'

'The end. Well, time for bed. What are you writing?'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

'I've read your manuscript-it's a miracle you survived all the booze, sex, and drugs while on your world tour, but are you sure you want it published during an election year senator?'

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

Eva Schloss

Rudy, I loved your memoir. It was fascinating. The way you overcame huge odds to invent the computer. How you went on to protect us from government surveillance. You know none of it's true. The way you swore yourself to humility. People so want to believe a good story.

Woman at bookshop counter says: 'The Political Memoirs Wing is through there.'

My memoirs - 'I've character assassinated the target.'

"Why don’t you just go back to writing your memoirs and forget about the whole graphic-novel thing?"

Vanity Publishing.

Misery Memoirs Bumper Pack.

"Oh, it's not a baby book, it's his memoirs."

'The toughest things to deal with are a new, charismatic opponent and a former colleague's memoirs.'

'What are you doing whining to me about your terrible childhood? Write it all down, you idiot. You've got a bestseller there.'

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

"Health officials now confirm the proliferation of a new epidemic they're calling 'way too many memoirs being published.'"

'I'm thinking of doing an illustrated memoir.'

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

'How could a man who seduced a hundred and thirty-two women find the time to write a twelve-volume memoir?'

"So- how go the formative years?"