Mobile Memoirist Gifts

'I'm not a famous writer, but I do make enough money to travel the country and sleep in my car.'

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"If he doesn't go nuts first, he'll be the first person to ever write a novel on a cell phone."

"I remembered that time you said you wished you had a biographer."

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'You understand, of course, that my memoirs must be written in ELITE type.'

'This is the shortest autobiography I've ever read!'

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

Woman at bookshop counter says: 'The Political Memoirs Wing is through there.'

"I loved your embarrassing personal essay in the 'Times.' "

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

Eva Schloss

My memoirs - 'I've character assassinated the target.'

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

Misery Memoirs Bumper Pack.

'I'm thinking of doing an illustrated memoir.'

'The toughest things to deal with are a new, charismatic opponent and a former colleague's memoirs.'

'What are you doing whining to me about your terrible childhood? Write it all down, you idiot. You've got a bestseller there.'

"Oh, it's not a baby book, it's his memoirs."

Vanity Publishing.

"Why don’t you just go back to writing your memoirs and forget about the whole graphic-novel thing?"

"Health officials now confirm the proliferation of a new epidemic they're calling 'way too many memoirs being published.'"

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

"If you're so worried about the effect of your mobile phone on your sperm count maybe you should just use it less!"

"So- how go the formative years?"

'But this IS my mobile home!'

'How could a man who seduced a hundred and thirty-two women find the time to write a twelve-volume memoir?'