Mob Movie Maniac T-Shirts

"It's a message. It means we're having fish for lunch."

"This is lovely, Mike, but what I wanted was for you to do me a solid."

Showbiz Awards

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

Giant slug attacks a city

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"We need rain."

"If I knew when this was going to end, it wouldn't be so stressful."

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

Cow Cong vs Toilet Rolls.

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

'Take me to your leader -- I've got an offer he can't refuse!'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

Oblivious at 20,000 Feet

"Paper or plastic?"

Our cover is francophile liberals

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Addiction to mobile.

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

Love Hurts

2001: A Space Odyssey - Updated

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

The Mafia Goes Green.

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

"I'll have the 'Sammy the bull' …hold the quail eggs."

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"Well, buddy....a lot of people are missing that. Just look at the social media comments."

'Oh mate, I can't wait for the zombie apocalypse!'