Mixtape Magician T-Shirts

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

'What luck! A sound technician.'

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

Caught in the Music

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Stupid Microwave

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

"I lost the groove."

Veloci-Rapper

Concert pianist with a clockwork piano.

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

The eye of newt - Is it gluten-free?

"Harold, not only was it perfect, It was perfectissimo!!"

'..and one for the pot.'

Mummy Musician

"I think your guitar's broken. No matter what you play, it sounds the same."

'Music hath charms,' &c.

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song too."

'Necessity is the mother of invention. It's just a pity Buxtehude didn't encounter a bit more necessity.'

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

Resume of Claude Brisketson Composer

'What's the poule ding?' 'Roast chicken. The ding is the sound of the microwave.'

Tortoise and the Hare

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

Moses conducts the Red Sea orchestra.

Snake charming the telephone.

A man playing on an elephant

'The cauldron is just for the sauce - I do the rest in my microwave.'