Mixtape Magician Gifts

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

'What luck! A sound technician.'

Caught in the Music

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Stupid Microwave

Veloci-Rapper

"I lost the groove."

Gracious, child...bubbling cauldrons of potions are old hat. I get mine over the internet, delivered frozen and ready for the microwave!

Concert pianist with a clockwork piano.

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"Harold, not only was it perfect, It was perfectissimo!!"

Mummy Musician

'..and one for the pot.'

'Music hath charms,' &c.

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

"You'll have to imagine the melody for this next song too."

Tortoise and the Hare

'Please don't encourage them: Stop trying to communicate with them...'

Resume of Claude Brisketson Composer

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

'What's the poule ding?' 'Roast chicken. The ding is the sound of the microwave.'

'Necessity is the mother of invention. It's just a pity Buxtehude didn't encounter a bit more necessity.'

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

Melody Cockroach.

'The cauldron is just for the sauce - I do the rest in my microwave.'

Snake charming the telephone.

A man playing on an elephant

"Ah-sod it! I think I'll get a takeaway instead..."