Mix-up Magician T-Shirts

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

"Didn't you want to plant a tree with our grandchild?"

'Hello? Mom?..Before you see the Doctor, check to see if you're wearing Junior's Gorilla Shorts.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

"I lost the groove."

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

The Forever Stamp

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Let's see if we could put a spin on it and get the public interested.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

Concert pianist with a clockwork piano.

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

"Music helps with maths... like which song got to number one... which song got to number two..."

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

'Johannes Kepler's uphill batle'

'Oh, Wow! You write math books? That's wonderful! Where do you get your ideas?'

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

"Frank, I need your help. The computers are down, but I was told you know how to multiply two numbers together."

Bizarre sequence of computer-generated random numbers