Mixed Message Analyst Gifts

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

In the Guru District

Love at First Sight

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Press Freedom

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"You know, there are other emojis."

Studies show foods work miracles!

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"Which news channel should we watch?"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

Lies/Damned Lies/Social Media

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

'My plan for the mid east has approval of both Houses of Congress, Oprah, Larry King, Lettermen and Leno.'

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"That newspaper has been showing up ever since you started reading the news online. I think it feels betrayed."

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

Newspaper suicide.

Fifty shades of Leveson.

"I'll never forget you."

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

"Oh, goody. More reality-based crap."

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"