Mistake Enthusiast Pillows

'You haven't much experience in plant conservation, have you Winthorpe?'

"Elves, Jerry, I asked for elves."

'Hi, Mr. Back... you asked me to call you...'

Big deal - give her the one from that screwball who came in last week.

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

'This is going to be good, he's taking water balloons into the board meeting.'

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'The sleepover was great Mum: Timmy's house is a pigsty just like ours...'

Nobody's Perfact (spelled wrong)

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

'Oh, now that's a nice vase...'

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'My socks don't match, but neither me nor my socks care.'

"It feeds blood to our brains...and that makes us smarter!"

She's disappointed. Doctor Frankenstein's online dating profile simply says that he's a "body-builder."

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

'I just faxed my tie to our Des Moines office.'

"Doreen, the cat's after the parrot again!"

Restroom Practical Joke.

'You have to clean it yourself. There is no delete key.'

"Mom is pretty certain I'm on my third guardian angel by now."

Through the Looking Glass-King's Messenger in Prison

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

"Mmm... our situation reminds me of an Edward Lear poem..."

Why do we have pistols? I thought we were back-to-back to see who is taller!

"Rayna's been kidnapped! And its all my fault!"

"My decorating style is more like 'Flung Shui'."

"You threw the wrench again, didn't you?"

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!