Mission Statement Master Gifts

"We need a new 'mission statement' to tell clients who we are! I was thinking of 'aspiring to excellence'."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'That's our mission statement.'

"Is it that bad?"

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

"That's unanimous then - we don't know what to do."

'Have a nice day, Dear.'

"I have a feeling this is gonna be one tough course."

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"You can do it!"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

Charles P. Muckenspucker - Mission Creep.

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

'Unfortunately when our last window of opportunity opened up, we mistakenly crawled out of it rather than into it.'

"It was a scary few minutes but now I'm making a fortune as a motivation speaker."

New initiatives

'Way to go! You too, way to go!' It was true. They both had a way to go.

"Pal, you're a guitar lesson flyer in a math tutor part of town."

"Ambitions... to make it to the other side."

'I was looking for a little stronger mission statement than that.'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

Servant talking to her old master about her new position

Doing business in the same location since the dawn of time.

"We're cutting costs by recycling his hot air."

"This looks like a job for ... someone else."

"Did you give me the finger?"

'I'm starting to think this will be a year without any raises.'

'Maybe so, sir, but our motto is, 'A penny saved is a lot of trouble for nothing.''

"Accepting change involves more than changing the 'Managing Change' meeting to next month!"

"Alright, settle down! Settle down!"