Mismatched Skills Appreciator Gifts

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

"I hate it when we fight."

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Large, wrinkly

Fun (circa 1955)

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

'Well this is awkward.'

"Kiss, you idiot. Not hiss."

Freia and her golden apples

"Apparently, if you understand it, you don’t understand it."

Alligator Bars

"Looks like there was a mix-up. Apparently the tank we ordered went to Vinny's Joke Shop in Hoboken, New Jersey."

"It's an adjustment being a handshake guy in a fist-bump company."

"And with that being said Polly became dinner." "Polly wanna cracker?" "Polly wanna piece of yo mama's sweet behind." "Oh boy..."

"Pianissimo! Pianissimo!"

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

The edge on this blade gives a close shave. Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

"I made a big mistake getting into ladies underwear..."

A deceitful photographer shows his doctored photos to an editor trying to deceive him...

"I really think I can handle this date on my own."

'I'm sure looking forward to relaxing when we get to the summit.'

"The good news is that you'll be immortalized in a world-famous painting. The bad news...your face is stuck like that for life!"

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Yes,I did order an extra barrel,but for my shotgun.'

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

The Badlands! A dry and deserted landscape where deadly rattlesnakes and packs of sharp-toothes coyotes roam the night looking for prey. And also, Fifi.

'You are a credit to the human race, Yardsley. Unfortunately, you're a liability to this firm.'

"We’re going to have to be very discreet. We don’t travel together, and we don’t dine together."

That guy is a walking contradiction.

"I don't know a damn thing about art, but my back hasn't felt this good in years."

Maybe we never actually do anything because we keep calling for a show of hands.

Ethelred the Unfinished.

"That was Albert. He was at a demonstration against global warming and now he's in the hospital with frostbite."